The joys of home ownership



So.....I come home Thursday night and my wife says "honey, the dryer's not working". Great last week the PC, this week the dryer. Well, Mr. fixit has fixed it before, I'll fix it again, says I. I have a pretty good idea what the problem is. I begin to take the old beast apart the next evening. Half way through I pull my hand out and scrape it along one of the sheet metal panels. Sharp as a freakin razor blade they are, cutting the back of my hand right down to the tendons. I'm talking a huge, deep, nasty ass cut. Now, I hate needles, but I know this baby needs stitches. I wrap it up, and call the wife. I tell her "get home quick and bring a suture kit". I quickly find out my place in the priority list isn't as high as I'd like. "Sorry, put a band aid on it, I have patients" was not what I wanted to hear. But Being a "dude" I handle the situation with grace and improvisation. I broke open a bottle of super glue and glue my hand back together. Works like a charm by the way! And don't think it's the first time I've done it.

Saturday, I finish tearing the dryer apart, give it a thorough cleaning and lubricate all the bearings and rollers. I was sure that was the problem. After re-assembling it I hit the button and presto, it fires right up. Feeling smug, I announce my success and relax to nurse my torn appendage.

Sunday morning dawns to the dreaded "honey, the dryers not working again". God $#&$*$%^$^ wtf now. 10 minutes later I go out and hit the button and it fires up fine........ for like 5 minutes. At this point I wave the white flag. Get in the car, we're going to the store. We look and anything even 1/2 way decent is $500. Nice ones are closer to $1000. Then she spots a sale on a washer dryer combo. One of them fancy front loading "trendy" jobs. Ok fine, at this point I'm a beaten man and we buy the pair. The Durango only holds one, so this means two trips to get them home. But that goes off without a hitch (making it about the only thing all weekend).

Now in the past hooking up a new washer and dryer has been a snap. Do you think it was this time? Ohhhh nooooooo. First, the gas line on the new dryer has a different thread (why after 100 years do they decide to change threads size???). Off to Lowes for a "universal gas line". I get home and install that to the dryer only to find it's only "universal" on one end. Back to Lowes for another fitting. That goes on just fine and finally the dryer is done. On to the washer. I don't foresee any problems here. After all it's only 2 water lines. I turn off the valves and go to unhook the lines from the washer. No problem with the cold but as soon as I loosen the hot I get a shower. The valve is shot. Great, back to friggin Lowes for a valve. I get the new valve installed, hook up the lines and FINALLY think everything is done. All I have to do is turn on the gas and the water.

After turning on the gas and water I needed to relight the pilot light on the water heater. Anyone think that went smoothly? Nope I fiddled with that for 30 minutes before getting it lit. Done finally! Not so fast, "Honey......the heater isn't working". Another 30 minutes of playing with that gets me no where. Now the furnace is new, so I'm pretty sure it's not broken. I finally get the bright idea to "re-boot" it. I unplug the furnace and plug it back in. This does the trick, and I can finally relax.

Now, how was your weekend...... can you top that?